Avoid Buyer’s Remorse and Create Joy with Your Purchases

Money certainly can buy happiness.

It’s not a prerequisite—most of life’s greatest joys have nothing to do with money or buying things, and some people with little money are among the happiest.

But buying stuff is fun. The massive U.S. consumer economy is evidence of this fact.

People love to buy stuff. Shopping is an actual pastime for loads of people—the actual act of shopping is the end, not simply a means to acquire something.

But then what happens?

All too often, when that initial dopamine hit fades, we’re left back where we started. Or worse, we now feel regret for spending (wasting!) money on this trinket or that gizmo.

There are rare occasions, however, when a purchase is a home run. The item becomes a treasured part of our routine, it earns a place in our life and seems to deliver a jolt of satisfaction—happiness!—every time we see it, wear it, or use it.

Is it possible to identify these winners ahead of time? To avoid the purchases that will lead to remorse, and go ahead confidently with those that will make a positive contribution over the long haul?

I think so, and I’ve boiled it down to a simple routine.

Before buying anything, I ask myself these two simple questions:

1. Is the lack of this thing causing me significant and acute pain?
2. If I had to wait a month for it to arrive, is the purchase still appealing?

If the answer is “yes” to both, it’s likely a purchase that will create durable happiness. If the answer to either or both is “no”, proceed with caution.

Is the lack of this thing causing me significant and acute pain?

There are lots of cool gadgets and stylish clothes. It’s easy to imagine all the ways a new thing will make my life better.

Instead, I try to focus on the degree to which it is addressing a current deficiency.

Let’s use an example.

If I live in a cold rainy climate but only have wool sweaters, buying a waterproof rain jacket will address a serious wardrobe deficiency and make my life meaningfully better.

If I already have a rain jacket, a second one doesn’t address any practical deficiency. I’m already dry and warm.

A second rain jacket, no matter how amazing, will provide a significantly less durable increase in happiness. In the first few days I’ll appreciate it for being new and different, but that spark of happiness will soon fade.

The appreciation of being dry, when previously I was constantly soaked, is durable happiness.

If I had to wait a month for it to arrive, is the purchase still appealing?

This one is a huge tell—pay attention to when the appeal of a purchase drops off a cliff when it’s not available right away.

The following scenario happens all too often: an idea for some purchase pops into my head. This thing will solve all of my problems. Life will be so much better if I can just get this thing. I come up with a dozen totally rational reasons why it’s a good idea.

Then I pull out my phone and search it up on Amazon. Wow, I can get it tomorrow morning! …and it’s on the way before I know what happened.

But if I see that it will take a week or more? I almost never order it—either right then, or ever—regardless of how strong the appeal was just a moment earlier.

What does this tell me?

It tells me that it’s not the thing that I really want. What I want is for some emotional discomfort to go away right now.

The purchase is the wrong tool for this job. It would be like putting on a sweater when I’m hungry—it’s misinterpreting the body’s signals.

If I want to spend some money in this situation I’d be better off spending it on a massage or going to the gym. I could also just go for a walk or take a cold shower for free. These would all be more effective in solving the actual problem.

This question helps to draw a distinction between purchases that are responding to emotional needs that they can’t address, and those responding to tangible needs that they can.

Two Questions for Better Purchases

That’s it! These two questions have helped me dramatically improve the success rate of my purchases and I hope you will find them useful too!

If you’re interested in this topic and want to dive in deeper, check out this episode of the Tim Ferriss Podcast with Mr. Money Mustache. Both Tim and Pete have been influential in my thinking about lifestyle design and financial optimization.